Hole in the Memory
by OnewholovesSJ
Summary: 4 years ago Emma had to leave Killian in The Underworld and return to Storybrooke. He figured out a way out. But now what is he returning to when he gets back to Storybrooke?
1. Chapter 1

He made it out. He tricked the Fates into making him a deal that if he helped enough people move on then he could go back to her. _Emma_. He missed her so much. He didn't know how long it had been since she had to leave him in the Underworld because she couldn't save him and he couldn't stand to watch everyone she loved get hurt. He had wanted Henry protected and wanted David to be able to return topside to see Neal grow up. Now here he was at the town line. He figured the best place to start would be the diner so he could clean up before he saw Emma and her family.

He walked into the diner but it didn't have the feeling it used to. All he could picture was Emma sitting there waiting for him but he knew he needed to figure things out before he went barging in the door. He was only there a few moments sitting at a booth after Granny handed him a coffee when the bell on the door rang and he couldn't believe his eyes. There stood a almost fully grown Henry. How long had he been gone? He had 3 little children running around him. Had Henry had children of his own while he was gone?

Henry turned and made eye contact with him. "Hook!" He ran over. "Is it really you?" Henry said.

Killian stood up out of the booth and embraced the boy who had almost been like a son to him at one point. "Aye, It's me. I finally got out."

"Are you alright?"

"I think so. Are you? How is everyone?"

"We are…You have a lot of catch up on. One second."

Henry turned around and whistled to get the attention of the children that were with him. They ran over and climbed in the booth. "Neal, I know you don't remember him but this is Hook. It's the pirate that your Momma and Poppa always talk about."

Neal stuck out his little hand to Killian. "Hi Pirate. I'm Prince Neal Nolan."

"Well it's very good to see you. How old are you now?"

"Five. How old are you?"

Killian chuckled. "Too old at this point. So lad are these your friends?" He pointed to the two other children in the booth. A little girl with black hair and green eyes and a little boy with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes.

Henry smirked. "Can you guys tell Hook what your names are?"

The little girl in the booth giggled. "I am Jayde and this is my brother Nicolas. He doesn't talk to anyone but me."

"It's very nice to meet you. Both of you." Killian said to the small girl.

"Jayde, tell him what your whole entire name is."

"Oh okay, Jayde Claire Jones." She replied.

Killian looked at Henry. "That can't be possible. How old are they? Where is your mother?"

"Relax Hook. I'll explain everything. I need to get them fed and back to Grandma's house but would you wanna go to the Rabbit Hole later with me? I usually got there on Thursday nights for a few hours. There is something I wanna show you too."

"I really need to see your mother. I haven't been here. I feel awful. She must hate me."

"Listen, have lunch with us and then we will go straight to the Rabbit Hole. It's been 4 years it can wait a little longer."

"Alright." Killian took a deep breath.

"Mister Hook. Do you know my grandpa?" Jayde asked.

"Aye I do. I haven't seen him in quite some time though." Killian replied.

"He is a police man. He keeps us safe." She said.

"Well that is lovely my dear. I'm so happy he does. Your grandpa is a very good guy."

"Henny, did you hear him? He knows Grandpa." Jayde said.

"I heard him Jay. Eat up cause you and Nicko are staying with Grandma and Grandpa tonight."

"Mister Hook, Nicko wants to know if you're a real pirate." Jayde said.

"At one time I was."

"Did you have your own ship and everything?"

"Yes I did Love, my own ship and everything."

"Henny, did you know that?" she asked.

"Yes Jay. I got to see his ship before when I was younger."

"I'm sure he will be our friend Nicko. He is so nice." Jayde said.

They were walking back to the loft of the Nolan's when Killian felt a little hand grab his and he looked down to see the little boy Jayde had said was named Nicolas to be looking shyly up at him. He bent down and looked at the little boy in the eye. "Lad, there is no reason to be afraid of me. You don't talk much do you? That's okay. I didn't talk much when I was young either. I had a big brother who always did the talking for me." Nicolas smiled at him.

"Grandma is gonna be so excited to see you Mister Hook." Jayde said.

"Jayde, my Momma loves everyone. Of course she is gonna wanna see her and Poppa's old friend." Neal said.

Henry opened the door. "Grandma, we are here."

Snow came around the corner from the kitchen.

"Momma look, we found you and Poppa's friend at the diner. He is gonna hang out with Henry."  
"Hook!" Snow threw her arms around him.

"See, I told you Nicko. Grandma wouldn't make him leave. She likes him too. You don't gotta worry." Jayde said.

"Grandma I'm taking Hook with me to the Rabbit Hole cause I'm gonna fill him in on everything and I imagine it is easier to just do all that in one clean break." Henry said.

"Hook, I'm so happy you are home. Before you go though, did you tell Nicolas and Jayde who you are?" Snow asked in a whisper.

"I… Henry just introduced me as one of your friends. Should we even tell them? I mean I haven't been here and they wouldn't understand possibly."

"Come on Hook. Be good for Grandma you guys."

Killian was already lost in what little information he had when Henry and him started walking towards the Rabbit Hole. "Where is your mother?"

"She is around. After we got back from the Underworld she was in a shell for weeks afterwards. Then she found out she was going to have the twins and she was so excited. Well, she really wished you were there. Grandma had her having hope that some how they would find a way for you to get back before she had the twins. But we just kept hitting walls. She eventually had the twins and had everything ready for them at home. That's where I live now. In the house you and I picked. I take care of the twins. I mean Grandma and Grandpa help me a lot but when the day is over it's just the three of us at the house."

"What happened to Emma?"

"She…When she had the twins. She got really sick and went into a coma. When she woke up she I guess… well the doctor calls it selective amnesia. She was really upset by the fact of losing you and know that she was going to have to raise them by herself and that you were going to miss it."

"Why doesn't Nicolas talk?" Killian asked.

"He just never has."

"Jayde. She said that he was talking to her. She kept replying."

" Jayde says she he talks to her. It's like telepathy or something. When he needs something he makes it known. I was really shocked he was drawn to you today. He doesn't even like me to touch him. He just kinda is there. He wonders around with Jay."

"So Emma didn't leave town?"

"No she is around. In fact I normally see her when I'm here. She knows me and just thinks I'm an adult now and do my own thing. She doesn't remember anything about you or the twins. I guess it was her way of dealing with it all. The doctor said it can come back at anytime. You'll see when you see her."

Henry took a seat at the bar and Killian sat beside him and Henry nodded over to the pool tables in the back of the bar. Killian could hear Leroy's voice. "Jeeze Princess you think you could give us a break for once." There she was, but it wasn't the Emma he remembered. Her hair was brown now and she was wearing it different. She just stood differently.

Henry turned towards Killian. "Leroy kinda keeps an eye on her. She won't talk to Grandma or Grandpa ever since."

"Where does she live at?"

"Wherever she can find a place to rest her head for a few hours. I think some times she even sleeps at the tables here."

Killian and Henry sat there for a while. Henry was drinking a water and eating some fries. When Emma walked up behind him. "Hey kiddo. Sorry it took me so long to get over here. I was playing till I lost."

"That's alright. How are you?"

"I'm good. Real good. This guy with you?" Emma asked as she nodded towards Killian.

"Yeah, he is someone I ran into today."

"Hi I'm Emma. I'm Henry's mother." Emma stuck her hand out.

"Pleased to meet you Love." Killian replied.

"I need to get going. Grandma and Grandpa said you could crash at their place till you figure yourself out or my house is always your house. Are you coming?"

"Henry leave him be. I wanna have a chat with him about some stuff." Emma said.

"oKay. Love you Mom. Just stop by when you leave here if you wanna stay. I'll be up."

"What's your deal?" Emma said.

"I don't know what you are talking about." He replied.

"Well for one you are in a bar drinking water and two I have seen you looking at me since you walked in here. I have this feeling about you and I can't quite place it. As if we have almost met before."

" Do you pick up most guys in a bar this way? Being rude to them." Killian asked.

Emma just stared at him. "What are you doing hanging out with my son? You are a lot older than him."

"You're right I am. But he was the first person to be nice to me when I got into town and invited here. Also I'm sure by this point every man in this bar has told you how amazingly beautiful you are so I can't help but look at someone like you. But I am going to go so that way you don't have to feel uncomfortable." Killian stood up.

"Wait. Have you and I met before?" Emma asked.

"I would hope that if we met it would be something you'd remember. You seem like the type of person I'd wanna know and go to the end of the earth for. Good night miss."

"What's your deal?" Emma asked.

"Don't worry about it Love. I'm just a man here fighting for what he wants." Killian replied as he walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Killian had been staying with David and Snow since he returned. It was too hard for him to think about staying with Henry and the twins. That house we full of memories of Emma being the Dark One and the fighting they had at that moment. He never meant any of those things he said to her and they never had time to talk about everything when they were in the Underworld.

"We are happy you are back Hook. Maybe it will make a change in Emma. We know she is hurt so we haven't pushed her but I worry about her constantly. I'll see her in town and she avoids me every time." David said.

"You know after you all left me down there all I thought about was making Emma happy. Having a life with her. It was all going to be a dream of the past. I lost the absolute best thing that happened to me in all my time. I wanted nothing more than to make a deal to get back to her. Now I'm back and she doesn't know who I am and I have children. I missed out on so much. Maybe it was better just to admit defeat and stay down there." Killian said.

" It'll get figured out and you know you do make Emma happy. When we got back she did everything she could to try and get you back here. When it came to planning things for the kids she kept you in consideration. She spent so many days stressing over what to name them and if you would like everything she picked for their nursery. She had all this faith that some day you would make it back. I even helped her and the dwarfs remodel some of the house. Have you seen the house since you got back?"

"Actually I haven't. That's the home I wanted to share with Emma and between being the Dark Ones back then and trying to get things figured out. I just don't know if I could go back without her."

"You should go see it. I bet Nicko and Jayde would love to show it to you."

David turned as the sound of the door being opened. Jayde came running through the apartment as soon as the door opened. "Grandpa!" she yelled out of breath.

"Jayde, what is the hurry?" David asked.

"I just wanted to see you cause Nicko had me worried all night. He said that he thought Hook was gonna leave. You have to make him stay." Jayde said.

"I'm right here Jayde. I'm not going anywhere." Killian interjected.

"Slow down Jay. Give Grandpa a minute to process." Henry made it through the door and was holding Nicolas.

"There are my darling grandsons." Snow gave them each a kiss on their cheeks as she came from the bedroom.

"Grandma, I know I said I didn't need you today but I kinda do. I got asked to work down at the library and Jayde isn't a baby anymore and won't keep the library policy of keeping quiet tones. You think you could watch them?" Henry asked.

"Oh you know I would Henry but I am supposed to meet Ashley and Belle for lunch."

"Okay. Umm I guess I can take them with me. Jayde get your shoes on." Henry said.

"I don't know if you would all be okay with it but I could watch the kids for a few hours. As long as they are okay with it.." Killian said as he scratched behind his ear.

Snow smirked. "Hook, why wouldn't we trust you? You are so good with them and Emma would want you to spend time with them and for them to know who you are. I have to get going I'm going to be late for my lunch date. See you all later."

"Nicko, Jayde. I'm gonna go to work. I'm gonna let you stay with Hook. You have to be good okay?" Henry said.

He put Nicolas down on the floor and left. Nicko walked towards Killian and held out his hand. Killian gently gripped it with his hand.

"How are you today Nicko?" Killian asked.

"Nicko won't stop talking about you. He really likes you." Jayde said.

"Well I really like you Nicko. How would you two like to go to the park?" Killian said.

"Yay! We love the park." Jayde said.

"Okay then, park it is. Would you like to go too Neal?" Killian asked.

"Can I Poppa?" Neal asked.

"Of course you can. As long as you are good for Hook." David said.

"I promise I will be." Neal said.

Killian sat on the bench while he watched Neal push the twins on the swings till they were going high enough and then he would climb on his own swing. He admired what a good uncle Neal was even if he was only a little older than the twins. Someone sat down beside him. "Hello mysterious stranger." Emma said.

"Why hello there. What are you doing here?" Killian said.

"I was walking past and couldn't help but notice you sitting here watching children play. As of right now I'm more worried why you are sitting at the park full of children. Do you have children?" she asked.

"Aye, I do." he replied.

"I'm sorry that I was rude to you the other night. I just found it odd that my young son was hanging out with some random guy." she said.

"I don't think Henry is a young kid anymore. He is pretty capable. I mean he takes care of the twins and everything. You should be proud of him." Killian said.

"I'm more than proud of him. In everything he does. I couldn't ask for a better kid. Even if Regina gets a lot of the credit. Where are your kids?"

Before he could answer Neal came running over. "Emmie!"

"Hey buddy. How are you doing? Who are you here with?" Emma asked.

"I'm here with Hook. He is watching us till Momma and Henry get home." Neal said.

"Awesome. Sounds like fun." She glanced at Killian.

"Yeah. He is pretty cool. Kay bye Emmie."

Emma turned and looked at Killian. "Why the hell are you watching my little brother? My parents trust some dude that goes by Hook? The really must be losing it."

"I guess so. You were fine with it when I had other children here. "

"Let me guess you are in charge of those random kids my parents and Henry took in? Are those twins yours!"

"The twins. Yes they are. Why are you raising your voice? I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm so thankful for your parents and Henry taking care of them." Killian said.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I guess I don't even know your situation to judge. Heck i didn't meet my kid till he was 10." Emma said running her fingers through her hair.

"Do you know much about the twins?" Killian asked.

"Henry will sometimes talk about them. I hear the boy doesn't talk."

"No. He is pretty quiet. In fact here he comes." Killian said.

Nicolas came up to Emma and put out his arms for him to pick her up. She looked at Killian and he just shrugged. She picked him up and set him on her lap. He curled into Emma.

"I think you made a friend." Killian said.

Jayde came running over. "Hi!"

"Hello there." Emma said.

"Nicko says he likes you." Jayde said.

"Okay. What's your name sweetie?" Emma asked.

"Jayde. What yours?"

"Well I'm Neal's sister Emmie."

"Emmie. I like that name it is pretty. Wanna be friends?"

"Wow, you're friendly. Sure I'd love to be friends." Emma chuckled.

"Thank you. Hook can you take us home? I'm tired." Jayde said.

"Well is Neal ready to leave? Why don't you sit here for a little bit with us. We will let Neal play a little while longer. I don't think Henry will be home yet anyways." Killian said.

"Okay. Can I sit on your lap?" Jayde asked as she rubbed her eyes.

Jayde climbed up in Killian's lap and curled into a ball.

"You know they say kids are judgement of good character. I didn't know if you were to be trusted before but a guy that spends time with his kids at the park is to be liked." Emma said.

"Why thank you Emma. I want to try hard to be a good parent now that I know i'm one." Killian said.

"You are a good person Hook." Emma laughed.

" What's that expression? You deal the cards your played." he said.

Emma laughed. "You play the cards you're dealt. Looks like you have a pretty tuckered out little girl there. Maybe you should take them back to the loft so they can nap. This one here looks like he is ready to nod off too."

"You're probably right." Killian said.

"I'll go grab Neal for you." Emma sat Nicolas down beside Killian.

Killian could hear him and Emma talking the closer they got. "Emmie, will you please come see Momma? She really misses you." Neal pleaded.

"It's complicated buddy. Maybe another day."

"You say that all the time. Why don't you love Momma and Poppa?" Neal whined.

"I do love them. You are living up to your namesake with the pestering."

Killian stood up and grabbed Nicolas' hand and settled Jayde over his shoulder. "Neal, come on lad. I have to be getting you home. If your sister doesn't want to do something then I'm sure she has reasons. Adult problems are tricky sometimes."

" I'm sorry Emmie." Neal said.

"I'm not mad buddy." Emma said.

"Well, we are going to get going. You are welcome to walk with us if you want." Killian said.

"I…" Emma stuttered. Nicolas grabbed her hand and held it while keeping his other in Killian's hand.

"I think Nicko answered for you." Killian said.

They got to the loft. "Okay boys. Say good-bye to Emmie. We gotta take you up to the loft. You're welcome to come up Love if you want but I imagine you would choose not to."

"Yeah… not today. But I umm. I 'd like to talk to you sometime again."

"Of course. I am glad you spent the day with us. It was good to get to know you." Killian said.

Killian walked in the door and Snow was sitting at the table with David and Henry and Neal ran to his mother. "Momma, we saw Emmie at the park. She sat with us all day. Even Nicko likes her." Neal said.

"Emma was at the park with you? What happened?" David said.

"Let me lay the twins down in bed and you can ask me questions." Killian said.

Nicolas followed him into the room. Killian laid Jayde down on the bed. "Come on Nicko lets get your night clothes on and you can get in bed with your sister."

Killian helped him out of his clothes and into pajamas. " You know you really made an impression on Emma today. That's good lad. It might help her a lot. Jayde said you like her. Why is that? What could you sense about her?"

Nicolas just looked at him and smiled.

"Nicko, you know you can talk if you want. I'll listen. Okay lad crawl into bed with Jayde." Killian kissed them both on the forehead and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the follows so far. Sorry this is a short chapter but it's the story line I'm trying to follow. Please review!**

Killian sat down at the table. "Yes, Emma saw us at the park and sat and talked with me while we were there. She even held Nicko for a good amount of time."

"What? She never wants anything to do with them." Henry said.

"What happened when she was by the twins?" Snow asked.

"Jayde says Nicko likes her. I asked him about it when I was getting him ready for bed. He seemed to light up when I talked about her." Killian said.

"You're really changing her Hook. She hasn't been like this since before she had Jay and Nicko." Henry said.

There was a scream from the bedroom. Henry stood up and ran and Snow followed.

"That was Jayde." David said to Hook.

"Hook, come here." Henry yelled from the bedroom.

Killian walked into the bedroom and saw both the twins crying. "I tried to ask them what was wrong and Jayde said she wanted you." Snow said.

Killian sat down on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong my little loves? Did you have a night terror?"

"I can take you guys home." Henry said.

"No!" Jayde yelled.

Nicolas crawled into Killian's arms.

"Nicko, why are you upset? Did you have a bad dream too? Tell me what's wrong Jayde." Killian said.

"Are you going to go away?" Jayde asked.

"Go away? No. I plan to stay here. Maybe not in your grandparent's house but I'll be here in Storybrooke. Is that what you are worked about?" Killian said.

" I had a dream about you leaving. You didn't want to play with us anymore. I know Henny takes care of us but can you take care of us too? We don't want you to don't have a Momma or a Daddy like Neal does and we want one. It's not fair." Jayde said.

"I think it's time to tell them Hook." Snow said.

"Yeah. Come here Jayde." Killian said.

Jayde crawled towards him and sat on his opposite leg of Nicolas.

" Jayde, Nicko. I am your father... and I never want to be away from you again so you don't have to worry." Killian said.

"You are? Why don't we have a mommy?" Jayde asked.

"You do. You do have a mommy and she loves you very much. She just can't be here with us right now cause of bad things that have happened." Killian said.

"Where is she? Where have you been? If you're our daddy then why don't you live with us? Isn't that what daddies do? " Jayde asked.

"Just like Henry told you. I did used to live here. I was in love with your mother and she lived here so I stayed. Even when I had the chance to leave, I stayed. So you don't need to worry about me leaving. It won't be out of my own doing." Killian said.

"Where did our mommy live? Why isn't she here?" Jayde asked.

"She lived here in this very room to be exact. But something bad happened and your mother started not being herself because she was trying to be a hero. So I tried to save her. But in order to save her I had to go away from Storybrooke. I never wanted to. I love your mother very much and I didn't want to lose her but I had to because I couldn't let her go away and Henry or anyone else not ever have her again." Killian sad.

"So you're a hero? Can you get our mommy to come back?" Jayde asked.

"I'm going to try Little Love. But that's enough for tonight. You and Nicko need to go home and get some good sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." Killian said.

Henry reached down and picked Nicolas up. "Tell everyone good-bye Jay we need to get home." Nicolas started squirming to get down. "What's wrong Nicko?" Henry asked.

He instantly jumped back into Killian's arms and held on to him tight. "You need to go home. Henry has work in the morning and you will see me then."Killian said.

"What if something happens to you? We really like you and if you go away I'll cry. Do you promise to be here tomorrow?" Jayde said.

"Love, don't you worry about me. Either of you. Do you hear me Nicolas?"

Nicolas nodded his head.

"Come you guys. It's time to go home. You'll see everyone tomorrow." Henry picked each of the twins up in his arms and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**We're getting there. Thank you so much for all the follows so far. I have most of the first half planned out so I'll try to keep updating. Please review!**

* * *

Killian was shaken from having to try and explain where he had been and why his children hadn't had parents in the last 4 years. It hurt him to know that his children felt that they were going to be left. He wanted to go to sleep but he couldn't settle down. His mind wondered at a million miles an hour. He decided to go to the Rabbit Hole. Even if Emma wasn't his Emma, talking to her could always calm him down. He walked in the bar and saw she was over shooting pool and decided to sit in a stool not to far from where the tables were.

She saw him instantly. She couldn't understand why she felt this pull to him whenever he was near. She felt like a lovesick teenager. She must be crazy. Going after some guy who had two kids to some lady who wasn't even around. She decided she'd go and talk to him. She had already told him earlier in the night that she wanted to see him again.

"I'd ask you to shoot some pool with me but I don't know how well that works with one hand." Emma said.

"You'd be surprised what I can manage to do with a misshapen limb." he replied.

"You get your kids home safe?" she asked.

"Yeah I did. There was a little bit of a uprising when it came to leaving them with Henry. But they are in their beds safe." he said.

"They seem so sweet I can't imagine that are that big of a force to be messed with. Especially Nick. He is such a doll." Emma said.

"You'd be surprised how much force a four year old can have on you. They are good children though. I fear they just were given a double dose of their parents stubbornness." Killian said.

" If I ever had another little boy. That is what I always wanted the name to be, Nicolas." she said.

" It's a strong name." Killian said.

"Well that is probably why you used it right?" she said.

"Actually, I didn't name either of the twins. Their mother did. But I like the names." he said.

"I always loved Nicolas Liam for a name." Emma said.

"What's the Liam for?" Killian asked. He realized she must have some other memories and wondered if she knew why she would name a child after his brother's name.

"Well, I know this is going to sound odd. In fact you're probably the only person I will tell this to ever. But I just have this feeling that Liam would have sentimental meaning if I ever got to use it. I once met this guy that was named Liam. I can't remember where or why he was important but he was. He didn't particularly like me but I admired him for all he sacrificed when it came to others." Emma said.

"I imagine that Liam was only being protective of the ones you mention he sacrificed one could dislike you Emma Swan." Killian replied.

"You don't dislike me? Here I sit and I'm getting deep in conversation with you and we just met a few days ago. Hey what do you say we get out of here and go for a walk?" Emma said.

"A walk? Sure." he replied.

As they were walking Emma turned to him.

"Where were you that you just now showed up? Your kids are four years old." Emma asked.

"Lets just say I risked myself for the person I cared about the most and so it took me awhile to get back." he replied.

"You cared about? Do you not any longer?" she asked.

"I care about her very much. She just isn't the only thing I care about most any longer. I know I have only been around for a short time but I have to say I would do anything for Nicolas and Jayde." he stated.

"Having children does that I hear. So where is the mother of your children? Did she pass away? How could she just not be around?"

"No, she isn't dead. Thank the heavens. I miss her but at least I know she is okay." Killian said.

"What kind of mother just leaves her children?" Emma said.

"She isn't a bad person if that is what you are implying. She is the most caring person I have ever met in my life and believe me I've had a long time to figure it out."

"You seem to be very much the same. I can't say I've met many selfless pirates. You come to a bar and drink water. You spend your days with your tikes. I think you might be a saint instead of a pirate." Emma said.

"I wasn't always this way. I promise you that. I used to be completely invested in my own self desires. I spent all my time on revenge. Then I met the person who made me change. I owe her the world."

"Don't take this the wrong way. But if you are so deeply invested in your love for her. Why agree to be around me?" she asked.

"Well it seems to me that I am allowed to have friends and I happen to like you Emma Swan. " Killian said.

"I don't really have many friends. I guess that is hard to do when everyone that could be a friend tends to be friends with your parents. But I guess you play that role too." she said.

"I'm not going to report back anything to the King and Queen. You are their child Emma but you are not a child."

"That means a lot to me. I swear since I decided not to live with them everyone thinks I'm some sort of basket case that needs watched."

"You have proven to me that you are quite capable of taking care of yourself and don't need a babysitter." Killian said.

"You got all that from talking to me these last few days?" she said.

"You're an open book Swan. I can tell a lot about you. You carry yourself in a way no other woman I have ever met does."

"Where are more guys like you?" Emma laughed.

"Wouldn't it be best if there is only one of me?" He smirked at her.

They walked to the marina and Killina spotted his boat.

"She's still here." Killian whispered.

"Who? Oh, do you have a boat here? This is where I stay." she said.

"You stay at the marina?" he asked.

"Yeah. Let me show you. I guess I should have know a pirate would be amazed by that fact. I should have mentioned it sooner." Emma said.

He followed her closer down the docks and she stopped in front of the Jolly Rodger.

"This is where you stay?" Killian asked.

"Yeah. Come on, I'll give you the tour."

"Emma." Killian stopped and just looked at her.

"What's wrong?" she turned around and looked at him.

"I need to go."

"Oh yeah. Of course." Emma said. She shrugged and Killian knew that look. He turned her down so she was putting her walls back up.

"Emma, it is nothing you did. It's just late and I told Jayde I'd be up early tomorrow to spend the day with her and Nicko. I really would like for us to stay friends and it's getting late. I want to see you again." He hoped that would make up for the abruptness.

He started turning around and walking away.

"Hook, you're gonna make an amazing dad." Emma said with a smile on her face.

"Thank you Swan. It means alot coming from you. You're a hard critic. Good night Emma." He walked back towards her and kissed her on the cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope you all are liking this so far. Thanks for reading and following. Please Review!**

Killian got to the loft and went to the room that used to be Emma's. He sat down and sighed. It took every ounce of him not to follow her onto his boat and just never leave. He knew that if he had though it wouldn't have been good. He wanted Emma to remember him before he fully allowed himself to embrace his love for her. But it had worked. Being with Emma had made him lighter. Like he had told her all those years ago. She had made him a better man. He would try forever for her to get back to where they needed to be. He needed her so much but he knew how much Jayde and Nicolas needed her more. Not to mention that everyone he spoke to just seemed to miss the old Emma. Now he knew even she realized it when she mentioned it to him tonight. He and Emma had talked so many times about how their life was because they had grew up without their parents. He didn't want that to be Jayde and Nicolas as well. He needed to get her back.

He woke up with the sunrise and walked out to the kitchen and was greeted by Neal.

"Morning Hook." Neal said with a smile on his face.

"Good morning lad. How are you this fine morning?"

"I'm good. You want some cereal?" he asked.

"No thank you. I think I'm gonna go visit Henry and the twins at their house."

David came walking in. "That's great. I'm sure the kids will be excited."

"That's the plan. I think everything is going to be okay soon." Killian said.

Killian got to the front door of the house he and Henry had picked out and got chills cause all he could do was think of all the times before when he found himself here to see Emma. They were supposed to be happy and somehow that never worked. He knocked and heard confusion inside the door. It opened and revealed Nicolas.

"Well good morning Nicko. How are you?"

Nicolas got his trademark smile on his face and hugged Killian's leg. Killian picked him up. "Henry? Hello." Killian yelled out.

"In here." Henry yelled.

Killian walked into the kitchen and set Nicolas down.

"Daddy!" Jayde yelled.

Killian was almost taken back by hearing the name come out of Jayde's mouth. Gods he need Emma to return so that he could feel like he really had everything in the world.

"Hello Little Love. How are you?" Killian asked.

"Good. Nicko is excited you're here. He wants to show you his room." Jayde said.

"You have your own room Nicko? I can't wait. Are you gonna show me your room too Jayde?"

"Of course!" she said.

"Alright. Let me talk to Henry real quick and you can show me." he said.

"What's up Hook?" Henry asked and he was cooking on the stove.

"I went to see your mother last night and we had a really nice time. She showed me where she lives."

"Listen i know i'm an adult now but if you're gonna tell me personal details I'll pass." Henry said.

"I didn't go inside. I couldn't. She is living on the Jolly." Killian said.

"No way! All this time she has been staying on your boat. I didn't even know it was still down there."

"You didn't tell me Nicolas' middle name." Killian said.

"Oh yeah. Wait did Mom tell you something about it?" Henry said.

"Your mother told me that if she had another child and it was a boy what she would name him."

"She remembers?" Henry turned in shock.

"Nicko, can you tell me your middle name." Killian asked.

Nicko smiled at him and turned to Jayde.

"His middle name is Liam. He says he wants to know your middle name." Jayde said.

"I don't have one. But I did have a big brother named Liam and I bet that's who you are named after. He would be so proud to know such a great lad is named after him." Killian said.

"Daddy, wanna see our rooms?" Jayde said.

"Yes, your grandfather said that your mother decorated your rooms."

"She did?" Jayde said.

"Yes Jayde. Mom made sure that everything was perfect in you and Nicko's room."

Killian followed the kids up the stairs and first into a room that was decorated in all nautical things. He could tell that she spent a large amount of time on it. There was a boat painted on the wall. It was amazing. There was so much detail.

"Wow, Nicko this is a great room. I see you have a train set. Do you like trains?" Killian asked.

Nicolas shook his head and picked one train up and handed it to Killian.

"I take it this is your favorite? It is a nice one son. Let's go see your sister's room now."

Killian followed Jayde into a room that completely decorated in different shade of blue and had clouds painted on the wall. Killian looked on the bed and noticed there was a baby blanket with "Jayde" stitched into it. Killian picked it up and looked at it. Emma had been excited for these twins.

"Jayde, did your Grandmother make you this blanket." Killian asked.

"Henny said she did. Do you like it Daddy?" she replied

"It's very beautiful love. Your mother once showed me hers that your grandmother made for her."

"Mommy has one too? That's so cool. Do you hear that Nicko? I have a blanket like our mommy." Jayde said all excited.

Nicolas smiled and shook his head.

"Daddy, what's my mommy's name?" Jayde asked.

"Emma. Don't you know that? Hasn't anyone ever told you?" Killian asked.

"Henny don't say. Yesterday he said that maybe you can find her. Why is she lost?" she asked.

"She is just confused. I bet she'll come back soon enough." Killian said.

Nicolas nudged Jayde to get her to say something.

"Do you need help finding her? Me and Nicko will help you." Jayde said proudly.

"I know you would love. But I will fix and Nicolas don't need to worry about that. But your bravery reminds me of your mother." Killian said.

"If you can find Mommy and fix her can we all live together?" Jayde asked.

"I hope so. But we will just see." Killian said.

"Do you think Mommy won't want to live with us?" Jayde said.

"Never, Never think that Little Love. Your mother will love you and want to spend time with you. It's just more complicated than I can explain. Your mother is going to have to adjust once she returns to us." Killian said.

Killian walked back downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with the twins and Henry while they ate breakfast. After Jayde finished she climbed into his lap.

"Thank you for coming to see our house Daddy." Jayde said.

"Well of course Love. Thank you to both of you for showing it to me." Killian said.

"Okay you two go get ready for school." Henry said.

Jayde climbed down from Killian's lap and started walking towards the stairs and Nicko followed.

"Daddy?" she said.

"Yes Love?"

"Will you stay here now?" she asked.

" I have to get going Jayde. But you go to school so I'll see you afterward."

"Okay Daddy. I love you." She ran back and hugged Killian's leg. He bent down and hugged her and then Nicolas.

"I love you both. Have a good day." he said.


	6. Chapter 6

Killian walked down to the docks and stood in front of the Jolly Rodger. "Do you normally stalk people's homes?" Emma said from behind with grocery bags in her arms.

"I don't know if it's called stalking when you own the property." He replied.

"You own this boat? Wait, is that why you were being weird last night?" She said walking closer to him.

"Aye. It's alright love. I'm sure you've taken care of it." He said.

"I just … I . Won't you come on? I didn't expect company but I. You're not like going to report me to my father or anything are you? It's just it was abandon and I thought someone should take care of it and it just had a familiar cozy feeling to it." Emma was slowly backing away.

"Emma, breathe. You are welcome to stay on my boat and if you want me to leave then I will. I just came to prove to you that I just had to go last night. It wasn't because of anything that you did and I didn't want you to overthink it." Killian said.

"I wasn't. You said that you were going cause it was late so that is what I thought." she replied slowly relaxing before Killian's eyes.

"Open book. Remember Love, I could almost physically see the walls being I don't want to intrude on your living space. But why don't you come to Granny's and have some hot chocolate with me?" He offered.

He couldn't bear to go onto the Jolly with her alone. That was his space and there had been so many nights they had spent there together before everything had crashed down. If he was alone with her he didn't trust himself to not beg her to remember.

"Let me put these few groceries away and then I'll come and meet you." Emma said.

"Do you want me to wait for you? We can walk together."

"Yeah. Okay."

Killian stood and inspected the outside of the boat. It needed some work done to it but he could tell someone had been making sure it stayed afloat all this time. He wondered if Emma could remember the one winter she had helped him clean the boat up on the outside to prepare for pending weather. Emma came out and looked at him for a second before she said anything and just noticed how he seemed so invested in looking at the boat.

"Did I do something incorrect?" she asked.

"No, you seem to be taking good care of her inside and out. Thank you. Who taught you how to take care of a boat?" Killian said with a smile towards her.

"I actually don't remember now. I just feel like I knew. I don't even remember how I started staying on the boat. I just, I was tired of living at my parents house and the house Henry lives in. Well that house is just a bad omen at this point." Emma said as they walked.

"A bad omen? What makes it that?" he looked at her.

"I just get this empty feeling when I go in there. I can't explain it. Plus he had your kids. Who wants to live in a house with all this chaos? No offense towards Jayde and Nicky. It's just they weren't my children."

"You said last night that you had names picked out for children. Did you ever want more children?" Killian asked as he held the door open to the diner for Emma.

They took their seats in the familiar booth Killian could always recall Emma picking at Granny's. Granny came over and shot Killian a curious look and then looked at Emma.

"Emma, I haven't seen you lately. Where have you been? Your mother and father worry constantly about you. When are you going to quit being stubborn and go see them? Pirate make her go see Snow and Charming." Granny said in her stern way.

"We want two hot chocolates. One with cinnamon if you please Granny." Killian said as he ignored her comments.

"Thank you for not replying to her pestering." Emma said clearly upset.

"Love, I'm sure you have your reasons and it's noone else's concern what you choose to do. Don't get upset by that. Also you know Granny loves your parents just like everyone else and you are smart enough to know that they miss you."

"Thanks Hook. To answer your question, I did want more children. But can't do that when it's just me. I don't even know if I'd make a good parent. You see the type of relationship I have with my parents and I caught Henry at the tail end." Emma said.

"I do. I think you would be an excellent parent. As for your relationship with your parents and Henry. They love you Emma. Killian reached over gripped her hand to give her some comfort.

"Thanks. Are you sure you were a pirate? You have been nothing but nice and helpful since you showed up." Emma said.

He hadn't seen the lost girl in Emma in a long time. She was always so sure of herself. But he had been noticing it in her since he showed up at the boat today.

"Lets take our drinks to go. I don't think we wanna sit in this place anyways when it is such a nice day." Killian said.

Emma smiled at him. This wasn't good. She was falling for him. He had this quality of making her feel better. He didn't even do anything. He stated facts and somehow took her side when it came to everything. She couldn't be falling in love with him though. He had told her just friends and she could tell by the way he talked about the twin's mother he loved that woman. But he was unlike anyone else she had come across.

"What was the name of your love?" Emma asked.

Killian looked at her awkwardly.

"I'm sorry. I was wondering if I had ever met her." Emma said.

"Leia." Killian said.

"Did she have a brother named Luke?" Emma laughed.

Killian was so thankful that Emma had made him watch the insane movie about the wars in the stars. "No I'm pretty sure she didn't. Nor did she live in a different galaxy. " Killian smirked.

"Well I can't say I've met anyone with that name."

"Hopefully some day you can get acquainted with her."

"You are the most interesting person I ever met pirate. Not many people would ever suggest a woman meeting their lover."

"She isn't like any other person I've met in all my existence. You might actually be surprised how much you have in common. You're a lovely person Emma."

Killian and Emma were walking out of the diner and he was turned talking to Emma when someone bumped into him.

"Watch where you are going Pirate!" Mr. Gold said.

"Good to see you too Crocodile."

"Well Miss Swan looks like you are right back where you started. I thought maybe you would have learned your lesson and made a wise decision." Gold said.

"What are you talking about?" Emma said.

"Oh deary. I didn't realize you were still in the dark and spending time with a stranger. Sooner or later he is going to disappear again and this time with things you don't even know you miss right now." Gold snickered.

"Come on Emma. Ignore this old rotten man. Stay away from me and stay away from my children." Killian said.

Gold walked away.

"What was that? What's he rambling on? One minute he makes sense and is good hearted and then the next he is cornering me about how I deserved to stay in the other realm. I think he is just bitter that Belle divorced him for good and he isn't allowed to see their child." Emma said.

Killian heard a child yell and he looked away from Emma. He saw Henry holding the twins hands as they crossed the street. When they got across Nicolas pulled away and ran to him.

"Hi Nicko." Killian said.

Jayde and Henry made it up to him.

"Hi Hook, Mom" Henry said.

"Daddy, I made you a picture at school. Nicko said it was bad but I don't care cause I made it for you." Jayde said.

"Nicolas that wasn't very nice. I'm sure Jayde did very good. You need to be nice to your sister." Killian said.

Nicolas put his head down shame. Emma bent down to his level. "Hey there buddy. Remember me from yesterday at the park?" she said.

Nicolas looked at her and shook his head yes.

"Did you draw a picture for your daddy while you were at school too? Is that why you don't like your sissy's? I bet even if your daddy saw both he would love them." she said.

Henry exchanged glances with Killian. Jayde walked over to her.

"Nicko says that he thinks you're really pretty. He is mad that you're Henry's mommy." Jayde said.

"Well you have an excellent Daddy so Henry should be mad he doesn't have a daddy as nice as yours." Emma said to them.

"Alright you two let's go home. I gotta do a couple things before I gotta go to work and you gotta go to Grandma's." Henry said.

"But we don't wanna. We want to hang out with Daddy tonight." Jayde said.

"Well it looks like he is spending time with…" Henry started.

"His friend. But if you wanna steal your daddy I don't mind." Emma said.

"You sure Swan?" Killian questioned her.

Henry looked at her questionally. "Mom, it's Thursday. Aren't you gonna go to the Rabbit Hole anyways?"

" I mean it's up to Hook but I don't mind not listening to Leroy bicker with everyone." Emma said.

Henry grabbed Hooks arm. "I need to talk to you." he said.

Killian gave him a questioning look.

"What did you do to her? She has lived at the bar for years. That is half the reason she doesn't talk to Grandma cause she asked her to stop."

"I haven't done anything lad. She completely offered alone. We were just spending time together today. As you know, friends like she said." Killian whispered.

"Well if you wanna spend time with them that is cool but can you bring them back to my house and put them bed when it's time?"

"Yeah I can. Are you sure you don't mind me being at the house?"

"It's your house." Henry said.

Killian turned around and saw Emma kneeling down and still talking to the twins.

"Swan, you sure you don't mind if I end our outing early?" Killian asked.

"Well your daddy will just have to promise me he will hang out with me again huh Nicky?" she turned and tickled Nicolas.

"Okay well the door is unlocked. I gotta get going. I'll see you tomorrow. Behave for your dad you two." Henry said.

"Well I'm gonna get going to the Rabbit Hole then. I'll see you all soon. Have fun with your daddy you two." Emma said.

"Emmie, can you take us to the park again?" Jayde asked.

"Yeah we can probably do that." Emma replied.

"Right now?"

"Well..." Emma said.

"Please." Jayde said.

"Jayde, maybe another day Emmie can spend time with us. She has plans. Tell her good-bye" Killian said.

"Well I guess we could for a little bit." Emma said.


	7. Chapter 7

They walked to the park holding the twins' hands.

Emma pushed them on the swings and Killian sat on the bench and watched them with her. She did so good with them. He was speechless at how amazing it felt to see them with their mother even if neither of them really knew that's what they were doing. It made him wish he could get Emma to remember faster. She came walking over letting the kids play in the sandbox not too far from the bench. Sitting down beside Killian.

"They can wear a person out. They are amazing kids Hook. Jayde has such a strong personality. She told me all about school and how she is so happy to have a daddy who is gonna find their mommy." Emma said.

"I am coming to find out how amazing they truly are. I am sorry I missed out on so much. I am thankful for Henry. You have a pretty great son. I really don't know what I would have done if he hadn't taken care of them." he said.

"I tried so hard to get Nick to talk. What is it Jayde calls him?"

"Nicko. I try almost every day to get him to talk to me. But I think he is just shy. I know he I was very shy as a child. At least my brother used to tell me so. I just was more comfortable watching."

"You ever think that is how he feels? I think he'll talk some day when he really needs to. I was a quiet child too. When I never knew how people were going to react to me."

"You know I saw a picture of you in your parent's apartment. You used to have that blonde hair like Nicko does. What brought on the brown?"

"A few years ago, I woke up, I just needed a change. A different life. I just felt like I needed to run and I knew I couldn't do that. Something was always keeping me here. Whether it was Henry or my parents. But I needed to change." Emma said.

Nicolas came running over. "Nicky, what's wrong?" Emma said.

"Where is Jayde?" Killian asked as he stood up. Nicolas took off running again. Killian and Emma followed.

They followed Nicolas to the sandbox and found Jayde sitting crying. Nicolas sat down beside her. Killian bent down picked her up.

"What is wrong? What happened Little Love?" Killian asked.

"I got sand in my eyes. It hurts Daddy. Make it stop." she cried.

Emma walked over to her and took her out of Killian's arms and removed her hands from her eyes. She blew to get some of sand off of Jayde's face.

"My darling girl you're okay. We will fix you all up." Emma said.

Jayde stopped crying and looked at Emma. "You called me what Grandma calls me. She says darling girl. You know my grandma?" Jayde asked.

"Your Grandma Snow? Yeah I know her she is my mom."

"Daddy, I wanna go home." Jayde said as she reached for Killian.

"Alright Love, tell Emmie good-bye for real now. You too Nicko. Tell her thank you for playing with you."

"Thank you Emmie." Jayde said.

"Hook are you going to be able to handle them on your own? I can always skip the nightcap today."

"Nightcap? Princess when do you use that language?" Killain joked.

"You live in a place long enough you pick up lingo. You'll be okay then?"

"You are welcome to have an excuse to skip the nightcap if that is what you want. "

Emma walked over and kissed Jayde on the cheek as she was in Killian's arms. "Good-bye sweetie. I'll see you another day. I hope you feel better."

Jayde reached for Emma and Emma took her in her arms and Jayde clung to her to hug her.

Killian just watched them and Nicolas started tugging on his pant leg. Killian looked down at him and he motioned for him to come closer. Killian bent down and leaned towards him. Nicolas pointed at Emma.

"What's that lad? You can tell Emmie good bye too. She really likes you. You know that?"

Nicolas got a smile on his face and ran over to Emma.

"Mister Nicky! Don't you worry I couldn't forget to tell you good-bye."

Emma handed Jayde back to Killian and leaned over and pecked a kiss on his cheek. KIllian just looked at her.

"You have a good night pirate." she said with a wink.

Killian got the kids back to the house and bathed them. "Do you two want to watch a movie before bed?"

" I'm tired Daddy." Jayde said.

Killian tucked her into her bed and took another look at the room that Emma had made for her. He caught himself thinking of the kiss Emma had given him when they were leaving the park. That wasn't anything like his Emma. He usually had to make the first move. Things had changed so much. Killian walked out in the hall and picked Nicolas up.

"Come on lad. Are you ready for bed too?"

Nicolas shook her head no and cuddled into Killian. Killian went back downstairs and sat with Nicolas on his lap.

"Did you have fun at the park today with Emmie? She really must like you and Jayde cause she seemed to be having so much fun."

Nicolas looked up Killian and then looked worried.

"Is something wrong lad?"

"Momma." Nicolas whispered.

Killian couldn't believe it. "What did you say Nicko? What about Momma?"

"I want Emmie for a Momma." Nicolas said.

"You like Emmie don't you? She is very lovely."

"Pretty." Nicolas said.

"You're right. I think she is very pretty."

"Can she be our momma?"

"I don't know. Maybe. She has her own life though Nick. But I promise you I will figure it out. Either way Emmie will be happy that you like her back and I bet she will be your friend."

"Really?" He got a smile on his face.

"Yes, Emmie is a very good lady."

"You like Emmie?"

"I do like Emmie. She is a very good friend to me."

"Okay." He wigged to try and get closer to Killian.

" Nicko I'm very proud of you for talking to me."

"I love you Daddy." Nicolas hugged Killian.

"I love you too Nicolas. Why don't we get you in bed now?"

Killian tucked Nicolas into his bed.

"Daddy you stay here with me and sissy?"

"I will not leave you Nicolas Liam. I might not live here with you but you know I will always be here for you lad."

Killian sat and waited for Henry to get home. Henry walked in the door soon.

"Hey Hook. How were the kids for you?"

"I thought you should know that Nicko talked tonight."

"What! What did he say?"

"He wants Emmie to be his momma."

"Well sooner or later she will be I hope. I can't believe he talked. Is he good at talking?"

"He talks very good. He is very smart just like I believed he would be."

Then Henry's phone rang. He answered and sighed.

"Sorry to stop the party but can you do me a favor? That was Leroy. Emma is down at the Rabbit Hole being wild. She does this every so often. She just needs to make sure she gets home and not so grandpa has to arrest her. Can you go get her? She reacts better to you." Henry asked.

"Yeah I will."

Killian walked to The Rabbit Hole thinking how much he just wanted his Emma back. He walked in the door of the bar and saw her and she almost looked like she was pouting.

"Emma what's wrong?" he asked.

"Hook! What are you doing here? I thought you had the kids."

"Henry is off work. Which means you should probably be home. It'll almost be time to have the rooster crow and you're still out. Why don't we go get you to your bed?"

"You're gonna walk me home pirate?"

"I can. Will you let me walk you home?"

Emma stood up and started walking towards the door and Killian followed her.

"You're asking? I'll go anywhere with you. I just don't think you return that. Everyone I fall for is a dead end." she rambled.

"Emma, are you saying what I think you are?" Killian asked as he walked beside her helping her keep her balance. They were almost to the boat when Emma stopped and just looked at him.

"You share eyes with Nicolas. Is your lover ever going to come back?" she asked.

" I hope so Love. Lets get you in bed.

Killian went down to the bedroom he had spent so many years in and saw it was exactly as he had left it. Emma laid in the bed and Killian went to cover her up. Emma grabbed his hand.

"Will you stay? You don't have to be home to the twins and you look exhausted. It's just sleep Hook. It's your boat anyways."

Killian just looked at her but gave in and decided to lay beside her so she would relax. He knew she would be passed out soon anyways. He nodded off but was soon woken up by the sound of crying.

"Killian…..Please….stop….let go I have to get back...Killian"

He looked over at her in shock that she was yelling his name. She must remember while she was sleeping. He rolled over and kissed her softly on the lips. "Swan I'm right here. You're okay Love. Relax." She seemed to instantly settle.

He then got up and left. He needed to think and he couldn't do it while he was laying beside the woman who was calling his name in her sleep but didn't who he was when she was awake. He went back to the house and decided to lay on the couch till the twins got back up. He wasn't asleep long and Henry shook him awake.

"Did you get Mom home?"

"Aye, she should be fine. I think she was sober by the time she went to bed. The walk did her good."

"Good I'm glad. I hope she comes back to us soon. I miss her. I know you do. I want the twins to remember her as always being there."

There was footsteps coming down the stairs and Nicolas came running into the living room and jumped into Killian's lap. "Daddy!" he yelled.

"Well good morning Nicko. How was your sleep?"

" Oh my goodness he does talk." Henry said.

"Did you let Jay stay asleep ?" Killian asked.

Nicolas shook his head yes.

"Nicko you are talking to your dad. Why won't you ever talk to me?" Henry asked.

Nicolas turned away from Henry and clung to Killian.

"What's wrong Nicko? Your brother just wants to hear you talk too. You aren't in trouble." Killian said.

"Jayde can't talk for you forever Nick." Henry said.

The front door slammed shut. Henry stood up quickly on the defense.

"HENRY!" Emma yelled.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Henry asked as she walked into the living room where they were sitting.

She looked at Killian who had Nicolas in his lap."Oh good you're here. You're exactly who I was looking for."

"Emma, what's wrong?" Killian asked.

" Nicolas go upstairs with Jayde I need to talk to your father and brother." Emma said.

Nicolas looked up at Killian with questioning eyes. Killian put a smile on.

"Go ahead lad. Make sure your sister is up so she doesn't miss breakfast."

Killian looked at Emma. "Good morning Swan."

"What was that all about? You scared the kid. You think you can just walk into a house and cause chaos at 7 in the morning? Are you still drunk?" Henry said.

"Excuse you. You think you can talk to your mother like that? I'm pretty sure I'm allowed here. I bought the house. And another thing, I'm allowed to do whatever I want when it comes to how much I drink. But I didn't mean to be crazy I was just trying to find Killian. He wasn't over at the loft and then I thought maybe he was down at Granny's cause you know you just decided to get up and leave in the middle of the night. I woke up alone and really confused."

Killian stood up and walked towards her.

"You called me Killian." he smiled.

"That's your name." Emma said.

"Swan, you remember don't you?"

"What did you do last night? I woke up and realized I have been spending the past week hanging out with my kids and I didn't even know. They are going to hate me. And you, you're back and I missed you so much and now you're here and you were a stranger and I forgot everything. You were dead! You made me leave you!"

Killian closed the space between and kissed her. It took her a second but she returned it and deepened it.

"I missed you Swan." Killian said as he held her face in his hands.

"Killian, you're back." Emma said with tears in her eyes.

"Mom you remember." Henry said.

Emma smiled and hugged Henry tight. "Thank you for every single thing you have done with your brother and sister. I'm so sorry. I'll never forgive myself for forgetting I have kids. I can't believe you just stepped up. You should have never had to do that. They are my responsibility."

"It's okay Mom. You were upset about losing Hook and under stress about the twins not having him. I could see it bother you in every decision you made about them." Henry said.

"I am capable of being a single parent. I am so sorry I messed up."

Killian started walking out of the room.  
"Killian where are you going?" Emma asked.

"I think I need to process. I'm going to sit with Jayde and Nicko. You should go see your parents Swan."

Emma walked over to him and cupped his cheek with her hand. "Killian, what's wrong?"

"When we were sleeping on the boat. You woke me up. You were calling my name. So I leaned over and kissed you beecause…"

"Because that's what I used to for you when you would dream about losing Liam. You're right though I think I need to process before things can go forward. We've both been so lost and alone for so long now. I don't know if i can adjust. I need to be a parent first before I can try and be someone who is in love with you again."

"I understand that."

"I'm gonna go see my parents. I need to say i'm sorry for everything."

"I'm gonna go see the children."

Killian walked up the stairs and walked into Jayde's room and saw the children sitting on the bed in the room.

"Daddy Nicko said Emmie was yelling at you and Henny. Why is she mad? Is it cause she had to play with us yesterday?" Jayde said.

Killian walked over to the bed and sat Jayde in his lap. "Jayde. No one is mad at you. Emma was just upset with something. You nor Nicko did anything wrong. She loves you both very much and is happy she got to spend time with you yesterday."

"I like Emmie. I agree with Nicko. I want her to be our friend." Jayde said.

"Can you ask her to be our friend Daddy?" Nicolas said.

"I think we need to go to see your grandmother and grandfather." Killian said.


	8. Chapter 8

Killian knocked on the door to the loft. David answered the door.

"What are you doing here? Emma said…."

"Yeah. I know we agreed that she and I need to figure things out. I was bringing the children to see their grandparents and maybe figure out how all this is going to turn out." Killian said.

David stepped aside and the three walked in the door.

"Grandma!" Jayde yelled.

Snow turned around from her place on the couch and held her arms out. Emma was sitting in a chair and looked surprised when they came in. Jayde ran over and jumped into her arms. Nicolas turned and hugged Killian's leg. Killian picked him up and Nicolas clung to him.

"What's wrong lad?" Killian whispered. Nicolas clung to him as tight as could be.

Killian rubbed circles on his back.

"Hello there my sweet girl. How are you today?" Snow said.

"Good. Do you have any cookies?" Jayde asked.

"No. I don't think we do. But you know what? I bet you, Emmie, and I could make some. Do you want to help Nicko?" Snow offered as she stood up.

"Nicko says he just wants to stay with Daddy." Jayde said.

"I bet we could have fun sweetie. Why don't you let your daddy have some alone time?" Snow said.

Killian walked closer to Emma and got her attention.

"I know I said differently but Swan we need to talk. I need to know how this is going to work."

"Killian can we just put that off?"

Nicolas put his head in Killian's shoulder. Emma stood up from the chair she was sitting on and walked over and rubbed circles into Nicolas' back and smiled towards Killian.

"Nicky you don't have to stay with us if you wanna stay with Daddy but I know I would really life if you helped me make my cookies. I'm not a very good baker and I bet you are." Emma said.

"Nicko remember what we talked about last night? You know I think you should tell Emmie what you want. What do you think?" Killian said.

Nicolas shook his head.

"Why don't you comes spend time with Grandpa?" David said.

Killian sat down on the couch with Nicolas still in his lap. Jayde crawled over Snow and leaned to whisper in his ear.

"Please don't leave us. We love you Daddy." Jayde said.

Killian kissed Jayde on top of the head. " Jayde that is not what I'm here for. Emma you need to tell them."

Emma sighed. "I ...how? Nicolas, Jayde. You know you were telling me yesterday that your daddy was going to find your mommy cause you needed one. Well you can give him a hug cause he did it."

"No way! Good job Daddy." Jayde said.

"Yeah he did a good job." Emma said.

"You wanna know who your mommy is?" Killian said.

Nicolas looked up at Killian.

"Emma did you wanna tell them?" Killian said.

"I am. I am your mother." Emma said.

"Nuh uh. You're Henny's momma. You said so." Jayde said.

"You're right Jayde I am Henny's mom too. That's why he is your brother." Emma said.

"Then how come you haven't been our momma since we were littler? You didn't want us?" Jayde asked.

"Jayde I always wanted you. I got sick after you and Nicky were born. I didn't remember and so Henry took care of you. But I always loved you. I wanted you. I remember when you were born I thought you looked just like your daddy." Emma said.

"Daddy is she being true? Jayde asked.

"Yes Jayde. That's why I have been spending time with her so I could get her to remember cause I wanted her to be able to be a good mommy to you and Nicko. She is the one that painted your room and you love your room. Think about how much fun you had with her at the park. You like Emmie." Killian said.

"Yeah. Daddy can we go home I don't wanna cook no more. I wanna go watch tv with you." Jayde said.

Killian looked up at Emma and her parents.

"We can my little love. Are you sure you don't wanna spend time with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"No I want to go home and so does Nicko." Jayde said taking Killian's hand and pulling him towards the door.

"They hate me now." Emma said.

"Emma they are four years old they don't know how to hate. They take after their mother. Remember when you found out we were your parents?" David said.

"Emma why don't you come to the house later. I really do want to talk to you. This last month has been amazing cause you have no idea how much I have missed you. Don't pull back. Please." Killian said.

"We will see." she said.

"Oh okay. Nicko, Jayde say farewell to Grandma and Grandpa."

Killian closed the door behind him.

David looked at Emma. "What are you doing? You wanted nothing more than for Hook to be here for the twins and you are pushing him away. He just spent the last month trying so hard to bring you back to us."

"Yeah. I know. I miss you guys though and you're who I care about. I think I ruined my relationship with my kids already. I screamed at Henry this morning and those kids think I didn't want them."


	9. Chapter 9

3 weeks.

Emma had moved back in with her parents and the twins stayed with Henry. Killian started staying on the Jolly Roger so that Emma would go over and spend time with the children.

Killian was sitting on the deck drinking rum watching the stars.

"Hey Captain. Permission to come aboard." Emma said.

"Swan, it is quite late to be out walking the streets. Are you alright Love?"

"After everything." Emma spoke quietly.

"You're not okay are you?"

"Can we talk Killian?"

"What do you want to talk about Emma? How much it hurts to know I came back just to lose you again? Or how every night I dream about how I'm going to die and go back to the underworld and I never got my Swan back. I lost a woman I loved once and I didn't want to do it again."

"Oh okay. You're drunk."

"What do you care Emma?"

"Do you still love me?" she cleared her throat.

"More than I have ever loved anyone. Even more than I thought possible when you gave me two amazing children." Killian sighed.

"They love you so much Killian. I'm so happy you bonded with them. You're all Jayde talks about. She is such a daddy's girl."

"I didn't know that is what I needed but they made this a little easier. What's eating at you?" He asked.

"I….Thank you."

"Yeah of course. But for what?"

"Loving me. when I'm hard to love and taking care of our children and being there for Henry when he needed someone. You are the most caring person I have ever met." Emma stood with her head down and rung her hands out.  
"Emma, you know I did that for you. I wasn't always a good man but I wanted to be for you. You were the one person who was able to show me that life's unfairness is something you can't be unhappy about forever."

"Yeah."

"You came to visit me and I'm doing all the talking. What do you need to say Emma?"

She started to walk closer to him and touch the railing of the boat.

"Is this the life you want?" she asked.

"It's the life I got. What about you?"

Emma didn't reply. She stood and looked out over the water and looked at the sky at all the stars and remembered how Killian had always loved to look at the sky at night and they spent many nights just talking about the constellations.

"I love you." she whispered facing out towards the water.

"I promised you I would win your heart. But only if you want it Emma. You don't have to apologize to me for moving on with your life. You can love someone and not be in love with them.."

"Stop. Did you not hear me? I love you, you silly man. I wanted nothing more than to wake up and you be there with me all those years ago and even when I was living my crazy life I would wake up and feel emptiness when the other side of the bed was cold. I love you. I look in Nicolas' eyes and all I see is your beautiful blue eyes and how I think I messed up. Do you know how much Jayde has your wit? How you that day you came and got me at the bar I wanted to kiss you but I thought you were looking for a different love. But yet I can't get my walls to stay down. What if you die again? What if I ruin your amazing new soul. I….I." Emma gripped the railing harder as the tears streamed down her face.

"I love you Emma Swan."

"If I told you right now I never wanted to be together again and that we should just co-parent the twins and stay separated what would you say?" Emma looked at him finally.

"I'd say you were crazy and that I didn't fight the fates to get back here to see you on our children's birthday and through fogged windows when it's snowing and you're out walking around in a leather jacket."

Emma sighed and turned back around and faced the water with her head down.

"Swan what do you want me to do? I'm trying to give you space and as always. I just want to make you happy and be the man you deserve."

"Killian Jones, do you think some day you would want to marry me?"

"Do you think I'd ever let you marry someone else if you decided to needed to be married?" He questioned.

He stood up from his stool and walked over to the railing and stood in front of her and slowly wrapped his arms around her.

"Everything is ruined. I don't think you should love me anymore. I am the worst mother ever. I forgot our children."

"I don't think you get to pick who loves you. You just get to be loved Emma Swan."

"Will you come see Nicky and Jayde with me?" Emma asked.

"I would love to."

They walked in the door of the house they had once planned to live in together. Jayde came running around the corner and about ran into Emma.

"Hi Mommy!" She said as she giggled.

"Hello my darling girl. Where are your brothers?" Emma asked.

"Mommy you brought Daddy with you!" Jayde jumped around Emma and grabbed Killian's leg.

"Hello my little love. How I have missed you so much." Killian said

"Daddy, will you get Nicko to talk? He said he is afraid if you aren't here to protect us."

Nicolas came running through the house and caught sight of Killian as he ran and grabbed his other leg. Henry came following. "Nicolas you have to get a bath. I told you that earlier. Hi Mom, Hook."

"Nicolas you know that you must listen to your brother. Why are you running away from him?" Killian said.

"Want you." Nicolas said.

"I'm right here Nicko. You can't be stinky. No one likes the stinky pirate. Go get a bath." Killian said.

"Daddy, Henny said I could be in ballet classes. Isn't that cool? I could be a ballerina." Jayde said.

"Sounds like you would have fun my little love." Killian said.

Emma walked into the living room and sat on the couch and watched how much her daughter loved Killian. She dreamed of this day so many times when she was pregnant with them. She wanted him to get the life he always deserved. A family and people that adored him and put him first because like her, he was selfless but deserved the world.

 _4 years ago_

 _Emma laid on the couch in the house she thought she would one day share with Killian. Except now he was gone. He wasn't coming back and no matter what she did the children she had inside of her would never know that their father was the best man you could find who used to be a villain. She was tired of crying. She was just plain tired but as she watched the sunset out the bay window she remembered a day in between all the battling and being the dark one that she and Killian sat on the dock watching the sunset talking about their childhoods and how if they had each promised themselves that if they ever had children of their own that they would never let them suffer like they had._

 _Emma rubbed her stomach and looked down at it. "You babies will never wonder if you are loved. Your daddy may not be here but he would have never left you if he knew. I will never leave you. I love you."_

Jayde came running over to Emma. "Mommy did you know that Daddy can dance?"

"I did. Daddy and I have danced with each other a long time ago."

Killian came over and sat on the opposite side of the couch and watched Emma light up as she talked with their daughter.

"Daddy you told me you loved our Mommy and you missed her but you and her are never together. She always looks so sad. Nicko is afraid that you are gonna leave cause she gave you your boat back and you might just sail away." Jayde said.

Emma looked over at Killian and gave him a questioning look. "Jayde are you sure you're not worried about that too? But I am not going to leave on my boat. I don't want to leave you and Nicko. Just because your mother got her memories back and she is having a hard time doesn't mean I quit loving her. I will always love your mother."

"Mommy! Did you hear that Daddy love you."

"Yeah. I also heard he loves you and isn't leaving. I know you were worried about that. I told you that your daddy loves you more than anything."

Nicolas came running into the room and instantly jumped into Killian's arms and hugged him.

" I don't stink anymore." Nicolas said.

"Very good lad. Did you talk to your brother yet?"

Nicolas put his head in Killian's chest as to hide. Henry came and sat down on the chair and shook his head at the scene.

"So why are you two together tonight?" Henry asked.

"I went to visit Killian and we decided to visit you all." Emma said.

"Well I was actually trying to get the twins in bed early for when the sitter gets here so I can go out." Henry said.

"Oh well if we are keeping you then I will leave." Killian said.

"No Daddy I don't want you to go. The scary lady will come. She is going to hurt sissy." Nicolas said.

"I'm sure your sister is fine Nicolas. Your brother wouldn't let your sister get hurt." Killian said.

Killian looked at Henry and stood up and placed Nicolas beside Emma on the couch. "Why doesn't he like the sitter?"

"I don't know why don't you ask him. He doesn't talk to any of us." Henry said.

"Henry don't get mad at Killian because of that. He tries to get Nicky to talk." Emma said.

Killian picked up Nicolas and looked him in the eye. "Why do you think the sitter will hurt Jayde?"

"Mermaids don't like girls."

"Nicko don't be silly Ariel is the only mermaid around here and she loves Jayde." Henry said.

"Ariel does but there are other types of mermaids in the world Henry and Nicko is right. They will kill any female they find to be beautiful. They are very vain creatures and refuse to feel unappreciated. May I meet the babysitter?"

"Daddy I want to stay with you. I believe Nicko when he says you will keep us safe." Jayde said.

Emma bent down to Jayde and pulled her close. "Your daddy will never let anything happen to you and neither will I. We love you and your brothers more anything. I know that better than anything but as for you staying with him. You are to stay with Henry till everything gets figured out."

"Alright. Both of you in bed tell your Mommy and Daddy good-bye." Henry said.

Emma and Killian sat back down on the couch in silence. Killian was staring at the ceiling and all of a sudden felt Emma lean towards him. "We need to do something."

"Where do we go from here?"

"Take care of our kids and each other. Live in the house I bought years ago when I decided that you are the one person I am going to let my armor off with."

"I told you not to put it back on. Everyone loves you Emma. They tolerate me because they see such wonder with the princess."

There was a knock at the door and Henry came into the living room with a young woman who had a long brown hair and too much make up. Henry motioned for her to sit down in the chair he had been sitting in earlier and sat down beside Emma and Killian.

"Ceto this is my mother Emma and her boyfriend Killian. They are the twin's parents."

Ceto stuck out her hand. "Why hello how are you? Nice to meet the people who produced such a beautiful set of children."

Emma shook her hand but she pulled it away before Killian could shake it. He could sense the evil in her with the mischievous look she gave him.

"You are just so beautiful Emma. I can't help but notice that you are not wearing a ring. Does that mean that you two are not together?" she said as she looked Killian up and down.

"In fact Killian and I are not married. You have someone you're seeing?"Emma said stepping in front of Killian.

"I'm going to check on the twins before we all leave. I'll be right back." Killian said.

Henry just looked at him. "I have to go. I'll see you guys later."

Emma kept talking to Ceto but looked past her where Killian where was standing at the base of the steps. He mouthed "be careful".

Killian walked into Jayde's room and found her and Nicolas both laying in her bed. Killian sat down on the edge. Jayde sat up and looked at him. " Daddy we are sorry we know Henny doesn't want us sleeping in the same bed but I'm scared and so is Nicko."

"I will not let anything happen to you. You are going to stay with me tonight. I know Henry will not like it but I do not trust that mermaid. Get ready and come downstairs to your mother and I."

Killian walked back downstairs and found Ceto and Emma sending glares at one another. "Swan is everything alright?"

"I remember you Captain. You hurt Peter. He was the sweetest and prettiest boy. You deserved what you got. Do you know that one of my sisters thought you were beautiful? You wouldn't give her the time of day. It was always about revenge. Now look you picked this dumb witch to have children with."  
Jayde came down the stairs with Nicolas behind her. Killian stepped in front of Jayde. Ceto smiled and turned.

"Hello there Nick.." Ceto stepped closer.

"Stay away from my children." Emma said calmly.

"The princess expects to get whatever she wants. You can't get the pirate and the happily ever after. Look at these children they look miserable. One of them doesn't even talk."

"It's time to leave my home you sea hag." Emma said.

Ceto laughed. "I'd like to see you try. You may be royalty but you are not going to rule over me."

Emma raised her hand and used her magic and knocked Ceto out the door.

"Swan, you okay?" Killian asked as he picked Nicolas and Jayde up.

"I am fine. I will not stand for anyone to threaten taking my children. They are coming home with me."

"That is why I told them to come down I planned to take them to my ship."

Killian and Emma tucked the twins into two of the crew bunks on the ship. Killian went to his room and grabbed a bottle of rum and went up to the deck. He was sitting and drink and Emma came up behind him and hugged him from behind. "Thank you for being an amazing father."

"I will never let anything happen to them Emma." he said without looking at her.

"What's the matter?"

"Don't get me wrong I am thankful for Henry taking care of our children but he put them in danger by having them there tonight. I'm no stranger to mermaids and just how wicked they are. She would have killed Jayde just being a girl. Not to mention she set her sights on Nicolas and she knew who I was. She felt nothing for me but that is how jealous they are. I know that you are figuring things out but I want the kids to stay with me from now on."

"On the boat? Killian it's going to be winter soon. They need warmth. In fact you do too."

"I will not let them be in danger." Killian said quietly.

"I know you won't. I won't either that is exactly why I threw the sea hag out of the house. No one is going to hurt any of my children. Or make passes on the man that is mine."

"A man of yours?"

"Things might be difficult after all this but no one else is going to take you away after everything we have been through together. You are mine."

"Why Emma Swan I never thought I'd see a day where you were jealous of another woman. You know that I only ever loved you." Killian smiled.

"Come to bed Killian." Emma said.

"Why yes you can stay on my boat and even in my bed." he replied with a wink.


End file.
